Lonely?!?!?

While getting my hair highlighted today, my stylist asked me if I ever find myself feeling "lonely," especially during long deployments.  At the time, my response was very flippant.  "I don't have time to be lonely!" was my response.  Now that I am sitting on the couch... alone, both my boys in bed.  ...my husband, literally, on the other side of the planet.  ...my heart shouts a resounding "YES!"  BUT.... before I get to deep into a pity-pit there are a couple of things that also come to mind. 

I do not think that the feeling of loneliness is felt only by military wives.  I am willing to bet, all wives go through periods of loneliness.  There are, no doubt, women whose husbands come home every night, sit across from them at the dinner table and yet they feel as if there are a million miles separating them.  Conversly, there can be a million miles between husbands and wives and yet they are closer than ever.  It's a matter of perspective, work, and priority.  If I am feeling lonely, why would that be?  What has changed?  We've already established that physical proximity has little to do with it!  The truth is simple... we all face times of feeling alone and if we don't stay vigilent in rooting it out, it becomes a path for Satan to worm his way into our lives with his old trick of deceit.  

Feeling lonely is just that, a feeling and any woman will tell you that feelings are NOT always the best compass for interpreting reality.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes a feeling can be right-on.  If you've ever gotten that sinking feeling deep in your gut that tells you something is wrong, you know that is something very different.  I am not referring to the fight-or-flight instinct that keeps us from walking down a dark alley at 2am.  I am, however, talking about that place we've all been where we are so overcome by emotion that you are moved to do something completely irrational.  You know what I am talking about.  It's the "I'm so heart-broken, I'm gonna get a pixie cut and dye my hair neon blue!" - place.  Emotions and feelings are fleeting.  They come and go.  They change.  We change... by God's amazing grace, we are all changed. 

Loneliness is steeped in insecurity and doubt.  God wants SO much more for us.  He has SO much more to offer us.  I have to lay my feelings of loneliness at Jesus' feet.  I have to give it over to Him and let Him fill the holes that are empty.  His grace is sufficient and He will never leave me.  God keeps His promises 100% of the time. 

Genesis 28:15, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Jeremiah 29:11